In Deep
by Laura Catherine
Summary: Spending a night alone, will Buffy finally come to discover her true feelings for Spike. Takes place after Wrecked


Author: Laura Catherine  
  
Feedback: Yes Please, either on here or to doolandbuffy@yahoo.co.uk  
  
Spoilers: Some for Smashed / Wrecked not much else, none for future episodes  
  
Rating: PG-13 , once kinda crude sentence but the rest is fine  
  
Time Line: 1 week after Wrecked  
  
Summary: Buffy spends a night alone and thinks about her relationship with Spike.  
  
Notes: Not much, just I will hopefully have another 2 parts to this story. A companion piece from Spikes POV , then a general round up bringing them together part.  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffys POV  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok so it's been what 1 week since that night in the house, and the only time I have seen him was when he helped me with my Dawn/ Willow problem.  
  
Last night I got so worried about his whole lack of non show that I even went to his crypt. Just to say Hi and let him know that Dawn missed him and wanted to see him.  
  
Of course making it seem as if Dawn was the only one and I could not care less.  
  
Spike only smirked, "If you don't mind pet Dawsons Creeks on, not really in the mood for chatter." He then turned back to the television completely ignoring me.  
  
Fighting of the urge to wipe that smirk of his face (fists or lips, could not really decide) I turn around and stomp away making a big show of slamming the door behind me  
  
Now its night again, and for the first time in ages I have the place to myself.  
  
Tara is taking Dawn to a concert in LA and at the last moment they asked Willow to go along.  
  
Now they are out playing happy families, even spending the night in some fancy hotel, Tara paying of course I tried to help out but she refused.  
  
I like her, and selfishly wish that Willow had been the one to move out and Tara had stayed.  
  
But who knows mabey this outing is the first step in there reconciliation  
  
Mean while I am taking a well-deserved night off from slaying and having a relaxing evening.  
  
I socked in a bubble bath for hours and now Im curled on the couch watching girlie movies and eating a tub of hagen diaz  
  
I know i should be happy, content and well rested.  
  
Instead Im lonely, bored and restless.  
  
As I lie down on the couch, a pillow underneath my head I wish it was him.  
  
I wish that we were together and taking advantage of this empty house.  
  
It was not the first time i had thought this, in my head the whole evening has been planned multiple times.  
  
It would start of with him appearing just after sunset. Dressed as normal, black on black none of this jewelry or purple shirts.  
  
He would be snarky, but apologetic about not being around all week and then sweep me up in a mind blowing kiss.  
  
But he would pull away, teasing, smiling he would take my hand and lead me up the stairs.  
  
From there we would not go to my bed room as i suspected, but the bathroom where he would run us a bubble bath, complete with candles.  
  
Dimming the lights, he would strip me slowly before removing his own clothes and helping me step in the tub.  
  
Together we would lie there, despite the romantic surroundings there would be nothing sexual about the situation.  
  
Just two lovers holding each other, occasionally whispering sweet endearments in each others ears before helping to wash and scrub the other clean.  
  
Eventually we would get out and dress, me in a pair of comfortable pajamas and him in some jogging pants and a clean white T-shirt (where they came from, I don't really care) and then we would go down the stairs.  
  
And now instead of me lying on the couch alone, eating ice cream and watching chick movies..  
  
We would be together, him occasionally taking a spoonful and moaning over the soppyness of the movies.  
  
Me telling him to shut up and get his own ice cream.  
  
But really the two of us be in heaven, and when the movie was finished we would go upstairs, to my bedroom this time and make love all night.  
  
Sweetly, tenderly nothing like the night in the falling down house.  
  
And In the morning we would wake in each others arms….  
  
"God Buffy" I hear my own voice say to the empty house, unbelieving that I am once again sinking In to my Spike fantasies as I call them.  
  
There all different, sometimes like that one they are nice and romantic.  
  
Others are like the extremely hot one I had last night (he interrupted my slaying, and forcefully took me from behind bending me over some poor woman's gravestone to do it) are graphic and something I should be horrified about.  
  
Some don't even involve sex at all, sometime I imagine us doing stupid things like going to the movies, slaying, hanging out, talking in his crypt.  
  
It occurs to me in this moment that I have spent so much time thinking about him that I almost forget about that place.  
  
That if someone seriously gave me the chance of going back I don't think I would take it.  
  
I chuckle, it's quite but sounds much louder in the empty house, its absurd, wrong and sure to end in disaster.  
  
But somehow Spike, a vampire, someone who is dead makes me more alive than I have felt in a long time.  
  
The chuckle grows quickly, Im laughing now tears running down my cheeks and Im glad no one is hear to see me I must appear quite mad.  
  
I love him, I say it in my head first but it does not feel real. So I say it to the empty room and it does.  
  
All of a sudden everything slips into place, I love him, I love him, I love him.  
  
I am chanting over and over, still laughing still crying, ignoring the ice cream melting over my leg and onto the couch.  
  
I think I stay like that for half an hour before pulling myself back together again and cleaning up the mess.  
  
I shower to rid myself of the messy ice cream, and go to bed.  
  
While I drift to sleep, my fantasias and dreams are of the non sexual nature. It's just me trying to find out the best way to tell Spike "I Love You" 


End file.
